I love finishing things. Such satisfaction. I'm the kind of gal that just loves checking items of the to-do list. Even small completions like using the very last of a shampoo bottle gives me a small sense of pleasure. What I'm not enjoying however, is finishing off my job at work.
I have three weeks left of working before my maternity leave begins. Aside from hoping I can make it that long, I'm totally overloaded and overwhelmed. I will not be returning to the same position...the job I've held for 8 years. So I must figure out a way to sensibly hand off this thing I've been doing for so long to someone I don't know. And I want it to be right. I want my people to have the right support. I want to know the projects I've started will be managed correctly. I'm kind of wearing myself out thinking about it. So I need to let go.
I'm going to start working shorter days and just accept that maybe this time its okay if every item isn't checked off the list. I've even started turning down work - something I never ever do. It's okay. Now is a time to start letting go of finishing and start beginning.
October 2nd, begins my new life. Hopefully, if baby boy is willing, I'll have a couple of weeks from that day until he arrives to nest, rest and ponder. And how I love October! It's my favorite month. Well, maybe tied with June...but it's still up there. Autumn! I love the smell of the dying leaves, the taste of the air, the heat of the afternoon and the chill of the morning. It gives me that sense of finishing. The year is winding down to its end, and in a few short months everything begins anew. And with baby coming, this Autumn will be more special than most. A new beginning for our lives as a family! I'm so very excited.
Showing posts with label reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflections. Show all posts
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
It is secret? Is it safe?
I never was good at keeping a diary. A while ago I went through my diaries from childhood and found them so empty that I actually threw them away because there was nothing in them worth keeping. But lately I find myself wanting to write things that are more on the reflective side. Or the creative side. But the question is...just who reads this thing anyways? Who is my audience? Perhaps I should begin each post with "Dear blogger". Should I hide the blog under my mattress? In the underwear drawer? Naw...those are the first places people would look!!
I believe only my best friends and my husband are even aware of this little blog. But I also think we as a society are growing so accustomed to sharing ourselves online, that we get lulled into a false sense of security that only people we care to share with will witness our online selves. Those facebook posts with four letter words or questionable content; that picture after a little too much tequila; that profile picture of me, 6 months pregnant, flipping off the camera man. Will I now add innermost thoughts to the online version of me...for anyone out there in the twisting nether of the interwebs to see?
I suppose I shall, come what may.
I believe only my best friends and my husband are even aware of this little blog. But I also think we as a society are growing so accustomed to sharing ourselves online, that we get lulled into a false sense of security that only people we care to share with will witness our online selves. Those facebook posts with four letter words or questionable content; that picture after a little too much tequila; that profile picture of me, 6 months pregnant, flipping off the camera man. Will I now add innermost thoughts to the online version of me...for anyone out there in the twisting nether of the interwebs to see?
I suppose I shall, come what may.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Time
It doesn't seem like its been over a year since my last blog entry, but low and behold it is. I've been distracted, initially by the lure of social networking (a.k.a. Facebook) and then by many other things that have taken up my time and energy.
In reflecting upon how time passes I've realized how little, in retrospect, the aspects of our day to day life matter. Sure, they seem of utmost importance at the time..."I have sooo much on my to-do list for the week" or "we are doing such and such this weekend" but when you look back upon the years do you remember those random weekends or to-do lists? Those particular stressful days at work that seemed so critical at the time? Those little obligations you rushed around for throughout each year? I find that I don't remember those things, which is almost surprising when I think about how much stress and worry I put into the details of day to day life.
In looking back upon years past, what really stands out are the more defining things. Where I lived, who my significant other was, where I worked...and of course the big events of the year. I can tell you about the vacations taken, if I moved, and if I changed jobs. I can tell you if I quit smoking, who I loved, who I lost. When considering any given year, its those things come to define that year for me. Not the little concerns.
When I think of 2004, the thing that defines it was our first trip to Europe. 2006 equals our wedding+honeymoon, and two moves to my memory. When thinking of 2007 I remember some important people I lost and buying our first house.
When looking back upon 2010, undoubtedly I'll think of it as the year of pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant early in February and we'll welcome our first baby in late October. Consequently much has been left undone this year as I navigate the waters of baking a baby...the joys of it and the array of discomforts. Little else has been in my mind other than this baby boy...looking forward to bringing him into the world and figuring out how the heck to take care of him without totally screwing him up.
So here I am. I've got no completed projects under my belt for this year (though the nursery - formerly known as the yellow room - is seeing some improvements; posts on that are forthcoming), my garden is overrun with weeds, and my laundry pile is literally up to my shoulders. I like to consider it practice for when the little guy is actually here and I have a better reason to let the to-do list go.
Yet something in me decided perhaps I should start this blog back up again. Perhaps I'll look back at my posts in a few years and instead of just thinking of this as the "year of pregnancy", I'll have more flavor and color to my memories of this time. For once time passes, you can't get it back.
In reflecting upon how time passes I've realized how little, in retrospect, the aspects of our day to day life matter. Sure, they seem of utmost importance at the time..."I have sooo much on my to-do list for the week" or "we are doing such and such this weekend" but when you look back upon the years do you remember those random weekends or to-do lists? Those particular stressful days at work that seemed so critical at the time? Those little obligations you rushed around for throughout each year? I find that I don't remember those things, which is almost surprising when I think about how much stress and worry I put into the details of day to day life.
In looking back upon years past, what really stands out are the more defining things. Where I lived, who my significant other was, where I worked...and of course the big events of the year. I can tell you about the vacations taken, if I moved, and if I changed jobs. I can tell you if I quit smoking, who I loved, who I lost. When considering any given year, its those things come to define that year for me. Not the little concerns.
When I think of 2004, the thing that defines it was our first trip to Europe. 2006 equals our wedding+honeymoon, and two moves to my memory. When thinking of 2007 I remember some important people I lost and buying our first house.
When looking back upon 2010, undoubtedly I'll think of it as the year of pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant early in February and we'll welcome our first baby in late October. Consequently much has been left undone this year as I navigate the waters of baking a baby...the joys of it and the array of discomforts. Little else has been in my mind other than this baby boy...looking forward to bringing him into the world and figuring out how the heck to take care of him without totally screwing him up.
So here I am. I've got no completed projects under my belt for this year (though the nursery - formerly known as the yellow room - is seeing some improvements; posts on that are forthcoming), my garden is overrun with weeds, and my laundry pile is literally up to my shoulders. I like to consider it practice for when the little guy is actually here and I have a better reason to let the to-do list go.
Yet something in me decided perhaps I should start this blog back up again. Perhaps I'll look back at my posts in a few years and instead of just thinking of this as the "year of pregnancy", I'll have more flavor and color to my memories of this time. For once time passes, you can't get it back.
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